I will never understand why they cook on TV.
I can't smell it.
Can't eat it.
Can't taste it.
The end of the show they hold it up to the camara, "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye."

Jerry Seinfeld

"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."
- Ellen DeGeneres

"When we lose the right to be different, we lose the right to be free." --Charles Evans Hughes

a little perspective:
Pythagorean theorem: 24 words

The Lord's Prayer: 66 words

Archimedes' Principle: 67 words

The 10 Commandments: 179 words

The Gettysburg Address: 286 words

The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words

U.S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26911 words

"One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness."
- Josh Billings

Alex Hitch Hitchens: Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away. --from the movie Hitch

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world."
- Oscar Wilde

"But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown."
- Carl Sagan

"I'm not afraid of dying. It's fate. What I'm afraid of is time. I'm afraid of not having enough time to do everything, to get what I want done. I'm afraid that I won't have enough time to find out who I am, my place in this world, and the people who matter to me. I'm afraid of time."

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
-- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

Golda Meir

"the only perfect family is the kind you draw on a piece of paper- the stick kind."

See! This is what happens when you ignore superstitions! They fuck you in the ass! --Liz Bramble

"Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win."

~ Bernadette Devlin

"Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together."
-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)

Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage.

Richard Lovelace

"Sometimes, the real and only victory is knowing when to walk away." - "Take It From Me

She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad. And that's important you know.
Marilyn Monroe

"I try to believe like I believed when I was five.....when your heart tells you everything you need to know." - Lucy Liu

"Haven't you figured out yet that you are the only one who can do what you
do, the way you do it? Don't you realize that the world is waiting for you?"
Iyanla Vanzant