"The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money."
-- David Richerby

"Failure's hard, but success is far more dangerous. If you're successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and money and opportunity can lock you in forever." -Po Bronson

"Man, astronauts must get a lot of girls. It says here they get all the Tang they want!"

-Kelso on "That 70's Show"

"Sometimes I feel like I'm not solid. I'm hollow. There's nothing behind my eyes. I'm a negative of a person. It's as if I never.. I never thought.. anything. I never wrote.. anything. I never felt.. anything. All I want is blackness. Blackness and silence." -Sylvia

"The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else." -Umberto Eco

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
-- Mitch Hedberg

..it's not the ones who've been with you the longest,
it's the the ones who came and never left your side..

Even if you fall on your face, at least you are moving forward. - Unknown

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?We make tools for these kinds of people. While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

~ Apple Computer Advertisement

"Befriend your inner bitch. If you're heading into battle, you want that bitch on your side."
- Mama Gena

Those who try to be everything to everybody end up meaning nothing to no one.

"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman."
~ Virginia Woolf

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

- Author Unknown

Every man's work, whether it be literature or music
or pictures or architecture or anything else,
is always a portrait of himself.
~Samuel Butler

"I love the stories. You know, about fallin' in love, and having love knock you around, and then the pressures of the world on you so tough it makes you feel small. You just want to give your soul to God. You might as well, your ass belongs to him."~Ray

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.
~Murphy's Law

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
~Dave Barry

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
~Author Unknown

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.
~ Al McGuire

"Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally, I grabbed the kid by the bib and said, 'Look, it's always gonna be me!'" ~Rita Rudner

"All right brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this so I can get back to killing you with beer." ~Homer Simpson

"It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office." ~Shirley MacLaine

"I do not like work even when someone else does it" ~Mark Twain

“Getting jiggy wit it is like, the next level of cool. It’s cool to the eighth power. Some people are fly, some people are kind of hot. But when you the jiggiest, you exhume jiggy-essence. It’s the acme of cool” ~Will Smith

Things go wrong in life. They just do. And sometimes downturns feel like they'll never get back to right-side up. Life is like that. So what! What we have been given is not what makes us who we are: the true measure of our soul's success is what we make with what we are given.
-Guy Finley

"The emptier the cart, the greater the noise it makes".
-Anon.