"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough.
It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it?
A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You
should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home.
You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to
work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your
retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you
get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you
play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back
into the womb, spend your last nine months floating...and you
finish off as an orgasm."

"I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween."

"People say hard work never killed anyone, but I say why should I take the chance"

"And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow."
~ Jerry Chin

"The harder you fall, the higher you bounce."
~ Doug Horton

"Do not look back on happiness, or dream of it in the future. You are only sure of today; do not let yourself be cheated out of it." --Henry Ward Beecher

"People who take time to be alone usually have depth, originality, and quiet reserve."
--John Miller

"We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness."
--David Weatherford

“How can you say luck and chance are the same? Chance is the first step you take, luck is what comes afterwards.”
-- Amy Tan

"We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today." -- Stacia Tauscher

"If you keep a gun in your purse, you get killed, because no woman can find anything in her purse in under twelve minutes. It is a rule."-Anita Blake

"You don't frighten us, English pig dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-King, you and all your silly English Kkkknnnights! I unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window dresser! So, you think you could out-clever us French folks with your silly, knees-bent, running-about, advancing behavior? I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy-leather, second-hand electric donkey bottom-biters! No chance, English bed-wetting types. I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms! I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde

"Friends don't let friends...go to clubs dressed like The Crow." - Anonymous

Women may get to wear lots of pretty colors, but men get the comfortable shoes. -Anita, The Laughing Corpse

"I loved him, but love isn't enough. All the fairy tales, the romance novels, the soap operas; they're all lies. Love does not conquer all." Anita - The Lunatic Cafe

" 'Can the sarcasm,' he said.
'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.' " Dolph & Anita - Circus of the Damned

"Most people will accept a likely lie to an unlikely truth. In fact, they prefer it." Anita - Guilty Pleasures

If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further
than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to
begin with.
~Dorothy~

Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
~Professor Marvel~