--->"An old man was sitting on a bench when a teenager with a rainbow mohawk walked by. The old man stared at him. Seeing him stare, the teenager said, 'What's the matter old-timer, never done anything crazy in your life?' The old man replied, 'Many years ago, I got drunk at a wild party and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering whether you were my son.'" -Anonymous

"When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic."

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

William Allen White

Socrates
"True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing. And in knowing that you know nothing, that makes you the smartest of all."

"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?"-Carrie Bradshaw From Sex and the City

"Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were, to become who you will be. "

"Love isn't finding the perfect person, it's about seeing an imperfect person perfect."

- Unknown

"Just be yourself-- everyone else is taken."

Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton
Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.

Maybe some people just arn’t meant to stay in our lives forever. Maybe some people are just passing through. It’s like some people just come into our lives to bring us something, a lesson we need to learn and that’s why they’re there. ~ Unknown

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don’t be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had. No one waits forever. ~ Unknown

I believe that we are who we choose to be. Nobody is going to come and save you, you’ve got to save yourself. Nobody is going to give you anything . . . you’ve got to go out and fight for it. ~ Barry Manilow

The most powerful force in the world? Compound interest. -Albert Einstein

“This is absurd. It’s just a dog.”
“Just a dog? Porthos dreams of being a bear, and you want to shatter those dreams by saying he’s just a dog? What a horrible candle-snuffing word. That’s just like saying, ‘He can’t climb that mountain, he’s just a man‘, or ‘That’s not a diamond, it’s just a rock.’ Just.” ~ Finding Neverland

We wear these clothes and this make-up for other woman more than for men. Men don’t care. They just want us naked. ~ Unknown

The best presents don’t come in boxes. ~ Calvin and Hobbes

After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn't mean learning and company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn the kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. And you begin to accept your defeats with your head and your eyes open with the grace of an adult and not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow 's ground is too uncertain for plans. After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you will learn that you really can endure that you really are strong... and you really have worth. ~From a Psychology Book

Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. ~ The Shawshank Redemption

"I'm very happy to believe that Jesus was married,I know the Catholic Church has problems with gay people and I thought this would be absolute proof that Jesus was not gay." - Ian McKellen

"I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck."
- Emma Goldman

All people are discontented when they know just the facts, or just the books, or just the things. Happiness can come only from knowing yourself. ~ Unknown

You’re going to look back on this and realize it was all amazing . . . the good, bad and ugly. In the end, the bads don’t really matter, ‘cause you know you had so much fun. ~ Unknown

"If you don't think conflict is relevant to technological advances, take a look at the Swiss. They've been neutral for virtually their entire history and their major contribution to the world is the cuckoo clock. Look at the Swiss "Army" knife. It's got nail clippers. It's even got a corkscrew in it!" T.C. Luoma

Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo de Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we should dance. ~ Unknown

He who is quietest, often has the most to say. ~ Unknown

No one hates history...They hate their own history.

-The DaVinci Code, the movie

Life and love are life and love, a bunch of violets is a bunch of violets, and to drag in the idea of a point is to ruin everything. Live and let live, love and let love, flower and fade, and follow the natural curve, which flows on, pointless. - D.H Lawrence

Only dead fish go with the flow. Anonymous

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you really want to do something, you will find a way. If you don’t, you will find an excuse. ~ Unknown

That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest ~ Henry David Thoreau

Better to light one small candle then to curse the darkness. ~ Confucius

All the darkness of the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle. ~ Talmudic Proverb

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. ~ Chris Rock

It is better to be a lion for a day then a sheep all your life. ~ Elizabeth Kenny

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

~Leo Buscaglia

"Regrets are a waste of time. They're the past crippling you in the present." -Katherine

"Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid." -Frances

While everyone else
Is so busy striving,
The lone traveler
Is at ease by himself.
He’s been living outside of convention
For a long time now;
In his pouch there is nothing at all.
When he walks,
He takes a cane for a companion;
When he talks,
He has the rocks for an audience.
If you ask him what his religion is,
When hungry it’s a bowl of rice.
--Wen-siang (1210-1280)

Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay a price to make them come true. ~ Anon.

Wherever you go, go with all your heart. ~Confucius

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made avictim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein

Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another. ~Homer

Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to displayqualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which hecannot keep. ~Samuel Johnson, The Rambler, 1750

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another. ~James Matthew Barrie

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. ~William Shakespeare

"The best day of your life is the one
on which you decide your life is your own.
No apologies or excuses...
No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.
The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey -
and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.
This is the day your life really begins."

~Bob Moawad

"happiness: something to do, something to love, something to look forward to."

laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.
i myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
~kurt vonnegut~

I am a big believer in the "mirror test". All that matters is if you can look in the mirror and honestly tell the person you see there, that you've done your best.

John McKay
NFL Coach

Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harms we do, we do to ourselves.

- Mitch Albom, "The Five People You Meet in Heaven"

"Love conquers all things – except poverty and toothache."
--Mae West

Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves: will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?

Said by the character Odysseus in the first lines of Troy (2004).

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-Michael Leunig

When love is not madness, it is not love.
-Pedro Calderon de la Barca

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are actually rearranging their prejudices."

"So many of us are running around, trying to find a way that we can make a difference and matter. It sounds like he had it figured out that the best way to do that was simply to live life. I mean, you have a diabetic inhaling sugar. That says to me that this is a man who basically just said, “you only live once and I don't know how long I have,” and then went out and did it. If we can't take something away from that, well, that's a shame. There aren't enough people who don't take life for granted, and we're all guilty of it. The people who make the biggest differences and have the most profound effects on the people around them are the ones who have really grasped how precious life really is."

"Life isn’t about living and then dying; it's about how many lives you can change while you're living, and then how many change after you're gone."

It's amazing when you can stand in front of tremendous crowds, without nervousness or fear of error, and say the perfect words, act the perfect way. And the face and sound of one special someone, can leave you at a lost for words...that is love...
-Jeff Lewis

"In my many years of experience, one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress."
-John Adams

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the former."
-Albert Einstein

"If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change. " ~John A. Simone, Sr.

A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood
Chinese Proverb

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."

-Jim Morrison

“Don't resent growing old, many people are denied the privilege.”

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the corporate states of america and to the republicans for which it stands one nation under surveillance with liberty and justice for oil."

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
- Johnny Carson

"You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers."
- John J Plomp

Your joys and sorrows. You can never tell them. You cheapen the inside of yourself if you do tell them.

*~Greta Garbo~*

"Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think that you've lost time. There is no short-cutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time."

-- Asha Tyson

Underneath the kindness was sadness, anger's loving sister."

"Happy. Just in my swim shorts, barefooted, wild-haired, in the red fire dark, singing, swigging wine, spitting, jumping, running. That's the way to live. All alone and free in the soft sands of the beach by the sigh of the sea..."

-Dharma Bums, Jack Kerouac

"The important thing is not to be bitter over lives difficulties, learn to let
go of the past, and recognize that everyday won't be sunny, and when you find
yourself lost in darkness and despair, remember - its only in the black of night
that you can see the stars, and those stars will lead you back home. So don't be
afraid to make mistakes, to stumble, to fall, cuz most of the time, the greatest
rewards comes from doing things that scare you the most, maybe you won't get
everything you wish for, or maybe you'll get more than you ever could have
imagined, who knows where life will take you, the road is long, and in the end,
the journey is the destination."
~Whitey from the TV Show: One Tree Hill

"A painting is never finished
it simply stops in
interesting places."

--Paul Gardner

"Junk, someone once said, is what you throw away two weeks before you need it."
--Letty Cottin Pogrebin

Keep your life simple because the more you get, the more complicated it becomes.
--Joe Coyhis, STOCKBRIDGE-MUNSEE

Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.
--Martin Buxbaum

The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for
-Allan K. Chalmers

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
– Herm Albright

Remember, we all stumble... every one of us.
That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.
- Emily Kimbrough -

"Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?"

~Dr. Meredith Grey on 'Grey's Anatomy'

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger

"We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp. Some are pretty. Some are dull. Some have glitter. Some sit by themselves in the box never used. Some have weird names, and all are different colours. But, they all manage to live in the same box."

"I opened up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong... Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top!"
- Mitch Hedberg

Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, "Why have you done this to me?" And the snake answered, "Look, bitch, you knew I was a snake." ~ Indian Chief, Natural Born Killers

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward
~Vernon Law

The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
~Albert Einstein

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
~Mark Twain

Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
~Unknown

"If you look closely at a tree you'll notice it's knots and dead branches, just like our bodies. What
we learn is that beauty and imperfection go together wonderfully."
~Matthew Fox

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961)

"The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep."
~E. Joseph Cossman

Borrow money from pessimists--they dont expect it back.

"I have found that if you love life, life will love you back."

- Arthur Rubinstein

"In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity." - Albert Einstein

"It requires more courage to suffer than to die." - Napoleon Bonaparte

love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, and he wears it every day.