If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further
than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to
begin with.
~Dorothy~

Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
~Professor Marvel~

"Such as we are made of, such we be."
-- William Shakespeare

The important thing is to know how to take all things quietly.
-- Michael Faraday: (1791-1867) English physicist, chemist

Screw every1 who said it can't b dun - jus coz they couldn't. Screw every1 who tried 2 make u feel weak coz it was de only way they cud feel strong. Screw every1 who tried 2 make u b different coz they didn't get that if u couldn't b who u had 2 b...u were screwed!

Love is the feeling that you're feeling when the feeling that you're feeling is the feeling you've never felt before. :P~

The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills, & wills.
--Richard Needham

The world is a great book, he who never stirs from home, reads only a page.
- St. Augustine

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all.

~ Emily Dickinson

Don't be afraid of showing your feelings, be afraid of regretting it when you didn't.
--- Laura Springer

If I accept you as you are, I will make you worse; however if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that.
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an
open sewer and die."
Mel Brooks.

.

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write
with."
Marty Feldman.

"The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred,
Barney..."
Steven Wright.

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated
that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't
understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who
your dentist is?"
Paul Merton.

"auntie em: hate you, hate kansas, taking the dog." -dorothy

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

Warning: dates on calendar are closer than they appear.

Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.

Love: two vowels, two consonants, two fools.

if we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an idiot

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they
don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the
world. Hobbes: Isn't the zipper on your pants supposed to be in the
front?

"Time's fun when you're having flies." -- Kermit the Frog

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. -- Mark Twain

The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. --
Salvador Dali

On one occasion a student burst into his office. "Professor Stigler,
I don't believe I deserve this F you've given me." To which Stigler
replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the
University will allow me to award."

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but
phone calls taper off. -- Johnny Carson

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. --
Ashleigh Brilliant

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years
and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some
of the worst movies in the history of the world. -- Dave Barry

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you
hear them speak.

Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because
it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why do they sterilize the needle for a lethal injection?

What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only
endangered plants?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

"If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them."
-- Sue Grafton.

"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk
and who is just stupid." -- Richard Braunstein.

"Money can't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy."
-- Spike Milligan.

"When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've
never tried before."
-- Mae West.

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."
-- W. C. Fields.

"The great tragedy of science -- the slaying of a beautiful
hypothesis by an ugly fact."
-- Thomas Henry Huxley

"It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to
end as superstitions."
-- Thomas Henry Huxley

"The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for."
--Maureen Dowd

Some people change their ways when they see the light, others when
they feel the heat.

~ Caroline Schoeder

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
---M. Kathleen Casey

Actually, my goal is to have a sandwich named after me.

A day without sunshine is like night.

"No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid."

Our happiness in this world depends on the affections we are able to
inspire.

~ Duchess Prazlin

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame
and fortune.

~ Amelia Earhart