"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know'
the universe when it's hard enough to find
your way around Chinatown."
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. --Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, 1905
Sunday, June 06, 2004
Saturday, May 29, 2004
"It's everybody, i mean. Everything everbody does is so - i don't know- not wrong or even mean, or even stupid necessarily. But it's just so tiny and meaningless and - sad-making. And the worst part is, if you go bohemian or something crazy like that, you're conforming just as much as everyone else, only in a different way." - J.D. Salinger
"Sometimes it's easier to pretend things are okay rather than face a difficult truth.So we go through the motions and rituals of everyday life.We hope the comfortable rhythms of familiarity will hold off the inevitable just a little longer.Return things to normal, anything to buy us more time.Playing pretend,make believe - it might be one thing we never outgrow."-Everwood
Monday, May 17, 2004
Even though I don't have to put on a suit every morning at 8 a.m., we all have one thing in common and that's fear. Call it fear of the unknown, fear of failure or just fear that you can't schedule your social life around your classes. Any way you look at it, these things are always intimidating. Everything seems to scare you at first...
Saturday, May 15, 2004
“... have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged; their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone." -Shawshank Redemption
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, wanders into your stupid life .... you give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns you into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts, not just in the imagination, not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
-neil gaiman
-neil gaiman
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love. If you haven't seriously thought about killing a motherfucker, you ain't been in love. If you haven't had a can of rat poison in your hand and looked at it for forty-five minutes straight, you ain't been in love. If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll their ass up in, you ain't been in love. If you haven't practiced your alibi in front of the mirror, you ain't been in love. And the only thing that's stopped you from killin' this motherfucker was a episode of CSI: "Oh man, they thorough. I better make up. They might catch my ass."--Chris Rock
"you know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is chinese, the swiss hold the america's cup, france is accusing the u.s. of arrogance, germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in america are named 'bush', 'dick', and 'colon.' need I say more?" -- chris rock
Monday, May 10, 2004
From "American Beauty."
I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die.
First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time...
For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars...
And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street...
Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper...
And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird...
And Janie...
And Janie...
And... Carolyn.
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...
...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...
You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry...
You will someday.
I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die.
First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time...
For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars...
And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street...
Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper...
And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird...
And Janie...
And Janie...
And... Carolyn.
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...
...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...
You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry...
You will someday.
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
At certain moments, always unforseen, I become happy... I look at the strangers near as if I had known them all my life... everything fills me with affection... It may be an hour before the mood passes, but lately I seem to understand that I enter upon it the moment I cease to hate.
- William Butler Yeats
- William Butler Yeats
"We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."
"It is worth mentioning, for future reference,
that the creative power
which bubbles so pleasantly in beginning a new book
quiets down after a time,
and one goes on more steadily.
Doubts creep in.
Then one becomes resigned.
Determination not to give in,
and the sense of an impending shape
keep one at it more than anything."
Virginia Woolf
that the creative power
which bubbles so pleasantly in beginning a new book
quiets down after a time,
and one goes on more steadily.
Doubts creep in.
Then one becomes resigned.
Determination not to give in,
and the sense of an impending shape
keep one at it more than anything."
Virginia Woolf
If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say,
I love her for her smile...her look...her way
Of speaking gently...for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and, certes, brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day -
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee - and love so wrought, May be unwrought so.
ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING
Except for love's sake only. Do not say,
I love her for her smile...her look...her way
Of speaking gently...for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and, certes, brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day -
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee - and love so wrought, May be unwrought so.
ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while. And admit the truth: that when you really look closely? People are so strange and so complicated that they're actually... beautiful. Possibly even me. ~ Angela
This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey, you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up, "Father, I'm down in this hole. Can you help me out?" The priest writes a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey, Joe, it's me. Can you help me Out" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you nuts? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before - and I know the way out." ~ Leo McGarry
when asked about love..
“What’s it like? All right... you know how when you’re listening to music playing from another room and you’re singing along because it’s a tune that you really love, when a door closes or a train passes so you can't hear the music anymore, but you sing along anyway. Then, no matter how much time passes, when you hear the music again, you’re still in exact same time with it. That's what it’s like.”
Danny (Jude Law), Music from Another Room
“What’s it like? All right... you know how when you’re listening to music playing from another room and you’re singing along because it’s a tune that you really love, when a door closes or a train passes so you can't hear the music anymore, but you sing along anyway. Then, no matter how much time passes, when you hear the music again, you’re still in exact same time with it. That's what it’s like.”
Danny (Jude Law), Music from Another Room
"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that? A bonus? I think the life-cycle is all backwards.
You should die first -- get it all over with. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch. You go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol and party. You get ready for high school. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby & go back into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating. . . Then, you finish off as an orgasm." -- Andy Rooney
You should die first -- get it all over with. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch. You go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol and party. You get ready for high school. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby & go back into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating. . . Then, you finish off as an orgasm." -- Andy Rooney
Five tips for women…
1) It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job
2) It is important that a man makes you laugh
3) It is important that you find a man you can count on and doesn’t lie to you
4) It is important that a man loves you and spoils you
5) It is important that these four men don’t know each other
1) It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job
2) It is important that a man makes you laugh
3) It is important that you find a man you can count on and doesn’t lie to you
4) It is important that a man loves you and spoils you
5) It is important that these four men don’t know each other
Monday, April 19, 2004
Sunday, April 18, 2004
be gentle with yourself. you are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars. you have a right to be here. and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. therefore be at peace with god, whatever you concieve him to be. and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep at peace in your soul. with all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. CASSIE CROMWELL
Friday, April 16, 2004
The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw, my inability to change. I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still... It feels safer somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... Who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are it could be even worse. So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... Except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever... that you'll never have to change again.
The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on and individual level. It's got to happen inside first. You can take away a man's political freedom and you won't hurt him- unless you take away his freedom to feel. That can destroy him. That kind of freedom can't be granted. Nobody can win it for you. - Jim Morrison
Attorney: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Witness: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Attorney: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Witness: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Attorney: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
Witness: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No.
Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No.
Attorney: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
Witness: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
-testimony from court records
Witness: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Attorney: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Witness: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Attorney: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
Witness: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No.
Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No.
Attorney: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
Witness: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
-testimony from court records
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Friday, April 09, 2004
Thursday, April 08, 2004
"...I think it's about the need to escape yourself for 15 minutes that everyone feels. But what it's really about is something more sinister. It's the idea that we now lead virtual lives. We live our joys and sorrows and foibles through the lives of public people. It's about the end of art. Because art has to take its cue from life."
-John Malkovich, 1999
in an interview about the film "Being John Malkovich"
-John Malkovich, 1999
in an interview about the film "Being John Malkovich"
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
"In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all, and it often comes
with bitter agony. Pefect relief is not possible, except with time.
You ccannot now believe that you will ever feel better. But this is not
true. You are sure to be happy agin. Knowing this, truly believing it,
will make you less miserable now. I have had enough experience to make
this statement." Abraham Lincoln
with bitter agony. Pefect relief is not possible, except with time.
You ccannot now believe that you will ever feel better. But this is not
true. You are sure to be happy agin. Knowing this, truly believing it,
will make you less miserable now. I have had enough experience to make
this statement." Abraham Lincoln
"When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil"
--Dale Carnegie
--Dale Carnegie
I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower
The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first they love the produce of the second.
-John Steinbeck, novelist, Nobel laureate (1902-1968)
-John Steinbeck, novelist, Nobel laureate (1902-1968)
Monday, April 05, 2004
People are always telling me to smile, like smiling is gonna take away all the hurt and all the pain. Well, I've tried that. I've tried hiding my sorrows, and covering the sadness in my smile. What I've learned is when it hurts this much inside; your heart always has a way of showing it, no matter how many masks you wear.
It's amazing, some people, they just say these small little things, one sentence and it changes the way you feel about them in an instant. Small little words that can hurt you so much or make you fall deeply in love forever. It changes everything, nothing between you is ever really the same again, even if they don't know it, it still happens.
"this is something they should tell u when ur a child. your life doesn't last forever. you can die in a few days, months, years or even worse, in a few minutes. you don't know what ur furture holds. and they should tell u that. you could be going to meet your husband, cross the street and get hit by a bus. so what are you waiting for? take every chance, say everything you want to say. don't argue over stupid things. your waisting ur time. this is ur life, and it doesn't last forever"
Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given then to explore the power they have to change it.
Impossible is not a fact. It's an option. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary.
Impossible is nothing.
Impossible is not a fact. It's an option. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary.
Impossible is nothing.
Friday, April 02, 2004
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Monday, March 29, 2004
Love is when you look into someone's eyes, and suddenly, you go all the way inside, to their soul... and you both know, instantly. I always imagined I would fall in love, nursing a blind soldier. Who was wounded in battle. Or maybe while rescuing someone in the middle of a blizzard, seconds before the avalanche hits. I thought, at least, by the age of fifteen, I would have a love life. But, I don't even have a "like" life.
Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while. And admit the truth: that when you really look closely? People are so strange and so complicated that they're actually... beautiful. Possibly even me. -My So Called Life
It just seems like...you agree to have a certain personality or something. For no reason. Just to make things easier for everyone. But when you think about it... I mean, how do you know it's even you? And this whole thing with the yearbook - it's like, everybody's in this big hurry to make this book... to supposedly remember what happened, but it's not even what really happened. It's what everybody thinks was *supposed* to happen. Because if you made a book of what *really* happened, it'd be a really upsetting book. - My So Called Life
There is one purpose to life and one only: to bear witness to and understand as much as possible of the complexity of the world - its beauty, its mysteries, its riddles. The more you understand, the more you look, the greater is your enjoyment of life and your sense of peace. That's all there is to it. If an activity is not grounded in 'to love' or 'to learn,' it has no value.
-Anne Rice
-Anne Rice
Sunday, March 28, 2004
"There are millions of people out there. But in the end, it all comes down to one. I still panic sometimes, forget to breathe...But I know.. I know there’s something beautiful.. in all my imperfections. A beauty which he held up for me to see. A strength that can never be taken away."
--Kirsten Dunst : Crazy / Beautiful
--Kirsten Dunst : Crazy / Beautiful
"Love gives you wings. It makes you fly. I don't even call it love. I call it Geronimo. When you're in love, you'll jump right from the top of the Empire State and you won't care, screaming "Geronimo" the whole way down. I love her so bad, I just... whoa, she wrecks me. I'd die for her." ~Conspiracy Theory~
Friday, March 26, 2004
Growing up sucks..And not all kisses are magic and most boys do not live up to your expectations. But there are those times when everything, I mean love, romance, relationships.. It all falls together perfectly, and it's incredible..It's those moments, no matter how depressingly or few and far between they are that make growing up worth it, and it'll be okay.-Dawsons creek
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
As you may know, I spent the last three months in Africa. A
wondrous, magical place. But as shadows lengthen across the KHBR
window, thoughts turn to homecoming. Journey's end. Because in a
sense, it's the coming back, the return which gives meaning to the going
forth. We really don't know where we've been until we've come back to
where we were. Only, where we were may not be as it was because of
who we've become. Which is, after all, why we left.
-- Bernard (3.21)
wondrous, magical place. But as shadows lengthen across the KHBR
window, thoughts turn to homecoming. Journey's end. Because in a
sense, it's the coming back, the return which gives meaning to the going
forth. We really don't know where we've been until we've come back to
where we were. Only, where we were may not be as it was because of
who we've become. Which is, after all, why we left.
-- Bernard (3.21)
Monday, March 22, 2004
"I think God appreciates it even more. 'Cause he created you in His image -- at least that's what I was always taught -- and since God is love and God doesn't make mistakes then you must be exactly the way He wants you to be, the way He intended you to be. And that goes for every person, every planet, every mountain, every grain of sand, every song, every tear, and every faggot. We're all His Emmett, and He loves us all."
Ted to Emmett on 'Queer as Folk' season one.
Ted to Emmett on 'Queer as Folk' season one.
If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself....If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight
- Leonardo da Vinci
- Leonardo da Vinci
Friday, March 19, 2004
Friday, March 12, 2004
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Sunday, March 07, 2004
"Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are
not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the
weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less
prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs
that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are
measured by these." -Susan B. Anthony
not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the
weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less
prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs
that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are
measured by these." -Susan B. Anthony
Friday, February 27, 2004
I wanted a perfect ending... Now I've learned the hard way, that some poems
don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end.
Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the
best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. - Gilda Radner
don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end.
Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the
best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. - Gilda Radner
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
I'm often disturbed by the notion of the so-called glass ceiling, but you know, glass can be broken. I've never liked hearing people say, "You can't do this" or "You can't do that." The point, though, is not to just say [you can do it]. It's important to be prepared to act and sacrifice; to accept that if this is what you want, just wishing it would happen is not enough. You've got to follow through and take the necessary steps to make it happen.
~~ Reginald F. Lewis (1942-1993), legendary Wall Street financier who completed the landmark $985 million acquisition of Beatrice International Foods in 1987. TLC Beatrice International remains the only black owned company to break the billion-dollar mark in annual revenues peaking at $2.2 billion in 1996.
~~ Reginald F. Lewis (1942-1993), legendary Wall Street financier who completed the landmark $985 million acquisition of Beatrice International Foods in 1987. TLC Beatrice International remains the only black owned company to break the billion-dollar mark in annual revenues peaking at $2.2 billion in 1996.
Friday, February 06, 2004
For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. -Alfred D. Souza
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
"I wish parents would understand that if their child drops eight fly balls one day, then only drops six the next, that's a reason to go to Dairy Queen. The principal thing is competing against yourself. It's about self-improvement, about being better than you were the day before."
---Steve Young (Former quarterback - San Francisco 49ers)
---Steve Young (Former quarterback - San Francisco 49ers)
Monday, January 26, 2004
Friday, January 09, 2004
"My tan is darker than ever, my implants are in place, chin cap tightly sewn
in place, Mom's bills are paid, even changed my name, ...my fake teeth are
glaring white, my dyed black hair is glistening, my snake like attitude and
behavior is in full gear...and I ask myself why can't I ever get a date?"
Older Gay Male Citizen, Watching Time Pass Him By Working In the Fabricated
Media Biz, 2004.
in place, Mom's bills are paid, even changed my name, ...my fake teeth are
glaring white, my dyed black hair is glistening, my snake like attitude and
behavior is in full gear...and I ask myself why can't I ever get a date?"
Older Gay Male Citizen, Watching Time Pass Him By Working In the Fabricated
Media Biz, 2004.
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